i did have flashbacks..

the time we first met, things start growing, we start getting closer.

but the moment the flashbacks reach mean things you've done, i had tears in my eyes..

i tried to hold back..

i nvr know holding it back would be this suffering because flashbacks wouldnt stop..

i tried to forgive and forget.

but my mind and heart told me, there's once, there will be twice and more.

i miss everything we've done together of course.

and yes, i treated u as my real sister already.

i tried my best to be the best sis.

i tried to treat u better than the way u treated me.

i tried so hard..

but, the moment i realize i've been betrayed, i first ques i ask : did i do something wrong that changed everything..?

i read old blog post.

all those advice i've receive...

oppas..

unnies..

so many of them...

im still watching all those videos, still supporting...

but due to what happen, things changed...

within 1 year plus, things changed too much...

being all heartbroken, i dont know what should i do...

i can old read those post

i can only have flashbacks..

i can only miss everything... not doing anything..

being single now, make me realize, i have more shoulders to lay on..

everyone was worry during day one because i start skipping meal and start locking myself in my room and burst into tears.

im stronger this time than i thought

my friends are proud of me.

my families are proud of me.

seeing the way i smiled and everything.

seeing me go thru everyday with smiles and laughters.

they're glad.

the moment he ask back, i tried

i tried going back.

i tried telling myself to turn back because of how i feels.

because i know the feeling is still there.

but that few days of turning back, i felt diff already.

i can feel the distance eventho we're like just next to each other.

i cant see the word ''lovebirds'' between us anymore....

and thats when i know things arent working out.

yes, i do miss him..

but things doesnt work out means doesnt work out anymore..

i cant forgive and forget all the scars i've receive.

im so sensitive.

im so weak...

call me cold blooded or anything negative , i just doesnt wanna turn back this time and regret months later..

the moment u had me, u waited for others, u wanted others.

the moment i left, u blame others for having me..

but u didnt know, u can only blame yourself for not appreciating me and giving me too much scars and tears...

i heard enough lies

i've go thru so much act-dont-know days...

i've go thru too much hiding-things-away days.

im tired for cant spilling out how i feel anymore...

im tired for keeping everything to myself and cant even burst to someone who is this close to me.

no, im not blaming you...

blame how we both cant tolerate each other anymore..

blame how we both isnt the same old us anymore....

girls heart are so weak..
and once its break, its very hard to mend it back.

Guys that has still have ego inside them means they are no man at all..
If you are comparing to another guy, of course..
we must be ego.
but why be ego towards a girl ?
dont make any sense...

Here's my concept.
Girlfriend are to have.. is to be love.
not a doll for you to let go your anger at..
Is like...
You want to give love... you want to love..
so you find a girlfriend that love you.
Rule number one, namja dont lay hands on their girl..
this is never ever, cos,,, if he ever does.. means.. he is not a namja !
Rule number two, guys dont raise their voice to show that they are angry.. if true guys... they will just tell other close namja how angry they are, cos if they love their girl.. they wont scold or shout at them..
Rule number three, for the most important.
no namja should make his girl cry because of his wrong doings.
If your namja never did this, then you can give him another chance ^^

i miss his advice on everything..

one guy who nvr fail to make me smile with tiny little bit of things....
and i wonder, are u still keeping my pic in your phone....

or, you've forgot i've exist...

just... wondering...