Troubled.

Annyeonghaseyo!

 I like taking pic with both hands on my face cause it make my face look smaller. 

HAHAHHAHAHA. 

im sorry. i just wanna make myself laugh a little -.-

Im supposed to be sleeping right now but im troubled by my own troubles 

-__________-

not knowing who to spill to, my blog is always here to listen. spill. 

i've been thinking way too much lately.

im sorry for annoying u guys with my emotions.

T____T

this time, i've been thinking about myself :x

i've been thinking, im 22, as a repeated soooo many times.

its not young or too old. 

at this age, i still got no achievement.

this age, i keep wondering wth did i even manage to unlock in my life.

NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING. 

at times im really disappointed in myself. 

like, what the hell am i even doing with my life.

i wake up, i go to work, do what i should do, go home, sleep.

and repeating the whole cycle again and again.

i dont party late night, i dont smoke, i dont get myself drunk, i dont go for illegal stuff.

but what good things i did ? -___-

everytime when i drive home, i kept thinking what good or proud things did i do today. 

this is why i always ended up in accident lah -.-

looking at others where they are good at at least something and looking back at myself.

.......

kinda speechless with myself. 

Im not good in anything.

I got no talent. Not singing, not dancing, not cooking, not athletic.

I have short legs planted on the floor.

No, i doesnt have those goddess body like anyone else have.

I dont have a smart brain. im a very blur or i could say dumb person where everyone else always tell me i am. i never say im not. i always admit when they tell me i am. 

Im not the one who consider good looking but still trying to cheat ppl with all my selcas. wth. 

Im still an annoying kiddo that try to annoyed ppl as much as i could. 

the thoughts will just come to my brain anytime, especially when im alone.

im a crybaby. hambao !

worst part ? MY CONFIDENCE LEVEL IS AS LOW AS A GROUND THAT HAS BEEN DIG. 

-_______________-

Im always afraid how my future will be like . 

how my future partner will treat me. 

I didnt expect much about my future.

All i wanted is just to live well and being treated well. 

I DONT dare to dream big. dont even dare to think big. 

because i know the percentage of being disappointed will be very high. 

i tends to keep everything to myself as i doesnt want other ppl to look down on me even more.

confidence level will just leave my soul lah like that.

i doesnt want other ppl to know what has been bothering me from time to time.

because i guess all my question will just lead them to silence. 

not even my parents, cause i doesnt want them to worry. 

they've been thinking i can take care of myself.

i can earn and use myself, i dont take $$ from them anymore. 

and yes, i dont anymore. 

being the youngest in this family, and being the only one who earn outside, isnt easy. 

i got stressful as well because i wanna show them im dependable as well.

i can be independent as well. 

my parents always tell me '' ah girl, u can one. u must.. u will.. ''

but....

i just cant  :(

oh dear future boyfie/husband ,  if u stumble across my blog, please be patient with me araseo ? 

since im being very honest right now..

T____T