Life

Almost every night before sleep, i tends to think about life. 

Probably because after i read about fourfeetnine and timothy's blog,  they talked about death,  and it gives me deep thinking.  

I like reading tim's blog as it nvr fail to inspired me.  

Every words are just so inspiring and motivated.  

So i think it leads me to think abt life,  death and future.  

Everyone told me im very very young.  

Still long way to go,  still got time to do what i want or what i like.  

The truth is,  i dont feel like im THAT young anymore. 

People will be like "you're only 22! Long way to go. "

All im like " im 22 already.  I dont wanna waste my time anymore.  I dont wanna be regret at old age for not doing what i want or like. I dont wanna start being successful only at old age. " 

Life is a bitch. 

I always hope time could pass faster and i wish to grow up.  

2 more months till 22 and i wish time could just pause because what i used to wish is happening a little too fast. 

Im always afraid of death.  Always afraid of losing ppl i love as well.  

When i was younger,  i wish i could die before my parents because i dont think i can handle if they leave me one day.  Lolololol. 

But as i grow up, to think about it,  i dont think my parents could handle it as well if i leave first.  

Till now,  i still dont think i can accept if they leave before me but i can understand because its the circle of life.  

Being the youngest in the family, and being a girl,  the whole family are quite strict and protective towards me.  

I used to not understand why are they doing these but i do as i grow up - prevent me from being hurt.  

I always afraid of my own death.  Especially when ppl speed while driving and im the passenger,  i always tell them " please drive safely.  I havent See myself in wedding dress and building up a family yet. " 

I always told my brother repeatly to drive safely and definetly no drink and drive.  

I think my bro think i sounds more like an auntie ad.  Lololol.  

I pray really really hard for my parents to live longer and healthier so they could share every stage of my happiness with me.  I want them to see me getting married. 

I want them to see me building up a family.

I want them to play with my children and pamper them like how they pamper me. 

I want them to see me being successful in my own career and be proud of it.  

I wish my brother could earn enough and build a happy family so my children got great cousins with super great uncle and aunty. Lol.  

What i really want for my brother is a good health and also infinity happiness for him.  

Same goes to my sister and bro in law.  

Doesnt like seeing anyone of them being sad or bring troubled by something.  

Hopefully my niece and nephew could grow up being kind and nice to everyone.  

Including mean people.  Because like i said,  life is a bitch.  No point playing fire with fire.  

Your aunty,  me,  been there done that. 

Just leave it. Haters gonna hate.  

Study hard and study smart and do something successful in their life.  

All of us will be super proud.  

And one day , when me and my brother start building a family,  they will be the eldest cousin among all. 

Responsible to 

Granny is now 80 plus,  very very healthy and still loud while scolding us.  Hahhahaha.  

Definetly a happy granny for having all of us together. 

I have a very happy and helpful family to be honest.  

So so so lucky to have all of them.  

Last but not least,  another man who means alot alot to me. 

Daddy will definetly be  number 1, brother will be 2nd one and he's the 3rd one. Hahahhahah.  

If u think we nve argued at all,  you're absolutely wrong lohhhh.  

We did la of course,  like any other couples do.  Lol.  

Mostly is me starting the fight one la.  

And most of the time due to period strikes looooooo. 

But im super proud of this old man because he deal with this period lady calmly. Lolololol.  

When i start losing my temper, he always sit there,  hug me and listen to me. 

Even when i pushed him away *guilty mode on * .

He still talk to me and do anything that could make me feel better. 

Even if my period stains the bed,  he told me to clean myself up  and he will clean the bedsheet.  \(_ _)/ 

Not sure abt u guys,  but definetly no guys treat me like this before loh!  

When we are on our holiday, every single ppl we met tends to ask how long are we married or is it our honeymoon moment. 

Sometimes i felt offended because we both have baby face,  and im still young.  And they way they said is like as if im old enough to married T.T 

It happened when i got my seasick and i couldnt stop vomitting.  

He was there,  waiting for me to puke all out and wrap my puke and throw them away.  

Then when we got on our boat,  he wiped my legs and start feeding me water and making sure im alright.  

A stranger just said "he's worth to marry.  He will be a good husband ".

Hahhahahaha.  Ok.  That was random and awkward but it make me felt that he's worth the appreciation. 

He may be quite *ehem* like to nag and keep repeat his words like old people,  but i guess he's just too concern and caring. 

Old man doesnt do romantic stuff,  but he think and planned wisely and treating me with full of respect. 

Oh ,  i pray pray really hard for this old man would stay and be healthy to grow old with me. 

Most important is being happy all the time.  Couldnt get enough of those smiles and laughters.  

Since we're growing older, he's abit worry of our health as well.  

You see,  the older we get,  the worrier we are about this and that. 

So he actually asked me to go for health screening together. 

He ended up buying all these supplements because he thinks we both should have them after seeking advice from the consultant. 

Hopefully we wont stop eating halfway because it always happen to me T.T 

Being in this healthcare line  at work always make me think about life and death from time to time.  

There's few times where client told us about patient passed away due to cancer or all sort of sickness,  i couldnt really handle it myself.  

I wonder how those doctors and patients handle those deaths. 

Are u taking care of yourself and your love ones now? 

Better be before its too late! 

Appreciate those who loves you. 

And shower them with love as well.