Being mean.

There's always a time where we always wanna burst all out when it reached our limit isn't it?  

All these while,  I've been patient with too much too much thing.

Even being criticized or being used,  I'm still there, smiling and acted Normal.

Even If it's boiling inside me, I just rant it to Someone who is closed to me or I trusted,  and decided to forgive, BUT,  not forget. 

For the past few weeks, I stopped myself from blogging. 

This is Why feb post looks dead. I'm sorry and I don't wish my emotion will affect any readers.  

This is I'm writing out for all girls to learn as I had a huge lesson at slapped me really hard.  

-Not to trust anyone except yourself. 

I trust ppl too easily.  Too easily till I always fall into trusting problem.  

For the past 2 years , I felt i've been used. 

Felt more like a kuli than what I'm supposed to be. 

Whatever I've asked, I don't dare to say no. 

I just listen and nod, following their instructions. 

After whatever I did, I either get critized,  or not being satisfied for what I've done. 

I felt so unappreciated.  But I put everything into the "I tahan only la" mode. 

After everything ends,  I still trusted them.

But lil do I know, it was Wrong.  

I felt sososo cheated. 

I was still hurt of course because I just want everything to end peacefully. 

But some asshole decided to left me cheated, hiding the truth from me and made my Next 28 years of life devasted.  Lol.  Wth.  

I even get threaten again and again , calling me to not to contact this or that or else this or that will turn out bad. 

I got so tired of all the threatening and I decided I WILL BE NICE NO MORE!  

I got threaten for the past 2 years la. U think I still wanna keep quiet now ah?  

Thinking I wouldn't know anything,  trying more lies. 

Even If I don't, ppl around me do. 

I scolded, I disrespect them for doing so much things to me. 

Critizing me so badly.  Threatening me so much. 

So, I screenshot everything that has been so negative to me.

And threaten him back I will post everything in the public If I ever got threaten or things just turn out ugly.  

So girls, If someone threaten you or trying to be mean to you, don't delete and ignore. 

Try threaten them back. Don't be nice If they're not being nice to you. 

Ppl will just take more advantage from u , from front or behind your back. 

So,  I decided to keep the screenshot real safely and YOU,  If u see this, I really mean it this time. 

I bet you won't like everything be in public. 

Me either,  But When it reach my limit, I don't think I can be nice anymore. 

I don't think I can be patient anymore. 

As girls, we always have to protect ourselves.  Learn to protect.

Seek advice from the elderly. Especially your parents. 

Because when you're know your deepest Shit, only your parents will pick u up. 

I'm Glad I had so elderly and also friends that has been teaching me what should and shouldn't. 

And one thing, If Someone doesn't treat you right, YOU LEAVE. 

Could totally live better without them. 

And WILL leave better without them. 

I've nvr been this mean before. Now you know I am really fired up. 

Guys, not all girls are mean. But If u treat them like a piece of Shit, I guess you will be Ended up in a pile of shit as well. 

No matter how mad you are,  never,  ever lay your hands on girls. 

Because even If they forgive u, I'm sure they won't forget abt it. It will bring a deep scar in their heart. Even bio-oil won't cure it away, ok  ? 

And girls, guys are Someone who need to be pamper as well. Not only you. He'll be someone who bring you happiness If u show them some and treat them right. give them a lil surprise to spark up your relationship once in a blue moon. 

But If u treat them right But they still decided to treat u badly, He's not worth. 

Leaving early is better than leaving late. 

Sometimes when ppl lose their relationship, they tends to seek who to blame for spoiling their relationship. 

But, they didn't realize or learn what had pushed their partner away. 

If your relationship is perfect enough, no matter who appeared, it won't spoil your relationship. Never blame others. Learn to realize.  Have a lil flashbacks of what u did wrongly or something that your partner didn't like. 

You will realize what had happened for the past months and years that made your relationship rocky and Ended up as separate ways . 

There's no perfect ones. No perfect guys, no perfect relationship. Don't be too demanding.  Someone who willing to take care of you and give u happiness no matter what situation you are in is always the best. 

They won't leave you no matter what happen, they will make u smile even you're in a bad mood? Probably period strikes?  

Okay la. It's hard to make a girl laugh during their period.  Guys who bares with it, I respect youuuuu!!  

I rarely talk abt How relationship works because of I failed my own relatiinship, But this time is exception. 

I've done what I should do, But I decided to leave. I don't feel appreciated. If those who knows the real situation, I bet they will understand from my side. 

If I got threaten again,  Probably things will be more exciting than this as I decided to post all the screenshots here. And I think u girls will even learn more and not to be as dumb as me. Lol. I was, once.

No more Next time. 

Feb ends with compilation of my own selca from 2013-2014. 

Annyeongggg!  :) 

Cny + Valentine 2014

Hello hello.!  

I know cny is over now. And I'm supposed to blog about cny before cny end. 

But I was too busy. 

I'm a good girl this year. Or Maybe trying to sve some leave? Most Probably it's a lonely cny la. No place to go. Didn't take any leave. Hahahhahaha.  

Spend my first day of cny at pd with family.  Such a boring place T___T 

I nvr step out from our hotel at all.  The only enjoyable time I had is when I'm sleeping and when we had steamboat for dinner  :x 

The weather kills. I can't stop sweating during the whole cny.  Got so tired of dolling up and 5 mins later,  I start .... sweating......  -.- 

so,  cny is the only day for me to act like a real lady. 

While the other 364 days?  I'm not. Mwahahahahhahaha!  

And I had to choose 2nd day of cny to be a lady. But, I still like sitting like a monkey -.-

Had told much lou sang till I'm so scared of it right now.

Gain too much weight because of all the cny lunch and dinner with different ppl

X.X 

Spending my 3rd day of cny with my irreplaceable chinguuuu!!  

It's good Everyone is back from overseas at the same time.  :) 

Went back to work at the 4th day. Lol.  

15 days of cny passed just like that.

Now u know Why I said I don't feel that its cny this year. :X 

ohhhhh?  Valentine?  Yes Yes Yes ^_^ 

I didn't expect myself to have a Valentine date this year . Hahahahhh. 

I thought I'm gonna pass the day alone and decided to just have a movie marathon at home by myself. Lol.  Have to stop scrolling on fb that day because everyone is just talking abt expensive presents and dinners. 

Damn kesian for those without Valentine one ok.  

Oh.  Don't worry. I have. Hehhheee.  How do I spend it? 

It's a Friday. My Valentine is my paperworks. My day time Valentine. Hahahhaha.  After work?  

Someone date me.  Yeahhhhh.  It's a human, a guy.  Not paperwork!  

While everyone is posting pics of every single thing and moment, I had a enjoyable one :) 

That moment, having Someone who really care abt you matters most.  :) 

What's best is having them right beside me, bringing me for my first ever fine dining experience , simple thing such as opening the car door for you and laughter for one whole night. 

I really really do appreciate of how He put effort searching for nice places as most places are full on vday.  

I've been so long winded and repeatly  thank him for one whole night. Hahahahhaha. 

it's been a busy But great month this February.  I can't wait time to pass. 

To be honest, I can't wait for this year to end Since I cancelled all my plans for vacations -.- 

Now I'm not excited for anything..

No, not even my own bday :( 

Ok la, incase I will be alone on that day, I better start planning and record all the movie and have my own movie marathon at home. :X 

I wanna have a getaway by myself But by parents doesn't allow. 

It's normal for them to think that way.

So, dear xuan's 2014, how happening can you be this year?  

Yip Kee Rice & Noodle House@Menjalara

Hello readers ! :)

This will be another food post. 

Nope, not what i've cooked again and not what i tried outside.

Its my very own family business that made the whole family proud of ! :)

Ever think of soy sauce noodle topping up with porks and a bowl of wanton? 

Like i've mentioned, my family had a wantan mee business . 

The founder of Yip Kee is actually my grandpa. 

He learnt how to make noodles to support the whole family .

and decided , a restaurant will be better to do. 

Yip is actually my grandpa's last name. 

We always got misunderstand by others by calling us Mr/Mrs/Ms Yip.

LOL. And i always prank ppl that im Ip man's great great grandaughter. 

HAHAHHAHAHAH. 

Actually our surname is Wong. Mr/Mrs/Ms Wong. 

This business has been running since 1969. 

1969 !!! 

You know, you cant handle a business that long if your food isnt good, isnt it ?

I start googling food in kepong one day and am so proud that our wantan mee is known as the best wantan mee in kepong ! :O 

See, my Grandpa and dad have the "good looking guys that can cook" look right?  Hahahhahahahah. 

Let me start with the best wantan me ever. 

HAHAHHA.

There's alot of speciality in our restaurant.

and one of the most common thing in our menu, or any other wantan mee outside is where ppl will order - Cha xiu wantan .

We have dry/ soup no matter which one you choose. 

Chicken feet & mushroom.
High in collagen! Yeah. Google it If you don't believe me. Hmph!  

The oh-so-famous Beef noodle !
Sekali cuba, hari hari mau.

If you want something simple without pork, you can try this!  

Chicken slice and mushroom.

Black bean Pai Kuat.
if you love having sauce on your rice, trust me, this will be finger licking good for your rice.
you'll get addicted by even eating white rice only with pai kuat's sauce.
ngek ngek.

Fried meat with mok yu :)
Mok yu,  good for blood circulation.
Eat more pleaseeeeee.

One of our best seller, dry curry chicken. 

it isnt easy to make curry u know.

my parents have to blend all the ingredients to create curry powder. 

We dont buy it from outside.

This taste?? You dont get it outside as well :)

we're selling boiled soup .

chicken with kei chi.

and cucumber (lou wong gua) chicken soup.

with this kind of weather in malaysia, its always good to have this soup at least once a week to cool down your body , right ? :)

i drink it almost every week and nvr get bored of it.  im such a lucky girl. HAHAHHA.

you can always order some side dish if you want. 

most of them order fried dumpling (sui kow) or fried wantan. 

anyone you prefer of course. 

if you're not a fan of fried food, there's soup version as well. hahhaahaha. 

You can visit us as there's actually more choices in our menu. 

31, Jalan Medan Putra 3, 

Medan Putra Business Centre , Bandar Menjalara.

(03-62774406) . 

Close on Thursday only and open from 7am-4pm. 

Not available at night.

To be more specific, we're located opposite Desa Parkcity :)

Parents famous dishes on the newspaper. 

and what do you get after reading this ?

A free drink with any meal you order . 

Just open up my blog site and show my parents about this article letting them know you're one of the readers ! 

As simple as that :)

Near to Kepong, near to PJ .

Well hey, you wouldnt mind travelling a little further for good food right ? :D

Are you drooling infront of your phone/laptop already??

Well, enjoy your meal and eat well of course ! :)
We shall all make our stomach happy with happy food. Hehe. 

Currently Missing.

There's so much important and lovely people in my Life that I'm currently missing right now  :( 

Probably because its just seems so quiet now :( 

Years ago, my dad used to tell me that things will definetly change when I come out from high school.  

Me? I wouldn't believe of course. Pfft. 

What he meant by change is how we will walk our path by ourselves now. 

We wouldn't be seeing each and every classmate 5 days a week.  We will be busy with our own Life and all. 

Which few days ago, I told my dad how true is it. 

I grew up in a great neighbourhood I can say. 

My neighbour is my kai family. 

Knowing them Since I'm still in my kindergarten.  

When I start meeting them, one of them is sitting there, 1 is in my kaima's stomach and another one isn't exist yet. Hahahaahaha.  

We share the same interest, and argued alot for fighting over small things. 

Pink is our priority.  Whoever that took pink and the other one doesnt, hahaha,  That's when the fight starts. 

We too, grew up travelling to many places together, doing sports, shopping, every single thing lahhhhh. 

As we grow older, we have different school sessions Which lead us got no time to play with one another. 

But it didn't spilt us up la of course. Just that we got no time for each other. We still manage to screamed each other's name from outside from time to time. 

And There's always a time where we always have to bid goodbye. 

This, I can say, was one of the hardest moment I had. 2 years ago, She have to leave here to aus for further studies and fight back a a better future. 

I cried for daysssss. And Yes, dayssssss when She first left.  What a hambao. Lol.

And slowly, one by one, they have to leave here... ahhhh.  That moment, I can't hear anyone shouting for my name from outside anymore... 

It just feel so silent. She's always someone so dependable when I ask for help and share feelings. And now, when I had heart to heart talk, there's no one who will be here right away anymore  :( 

and she's only back for one year once, for not even a month!!!  

i can't forget how excited I am when She first came back after being there for a year. 

I was so excited when I reach home after work. I ran Next door and driver told me she's not home yet. I got so nervous and kept questioning the driver. Wth.  I bet the driver feel like slapping me for asking him question that He don't even know. 

I went home, sitting Near my door so I could hear when she's home. 

And that moment when the gate open, I ran over . 

And that moment when She come down from the car, we start hugging, jumping and shouting at the same time.

Yes! We'really that happy. And of course,  spending time with her is still the best feeling everrrr.  Now I'm Waiting for this year for her to be back again.: ) 

Come home soon okay? Ngeheheheh !

and after leaving high school, of course we all do go to college.

and i thought i wouldnt meet people who will mean alot to me when i started. 

its a short course, but i was so wrong. 

people there was over friendly.

once again, me , being the youngest one, and how they came up with a name call xuanbaby. 

=)

i dont talk to people at the first place. i wait for them to talk to me. 

thats why im always being misunderstand as the lc one lohhhh. 

im actually shy. lol. i dont know how to start one conversation and am afraid of being awkward. 

but im still glad we manage to cope with how we are just afraid to graduate cause we all know we wont be meeting each other that often anymore. 

but in the end we still need to graduate laa. 

happy time flies. we all do agree with this right ?

and when we graduate, it always mean, its time for us to go home.

my classmates are mostly from outstation. all of them come to KL for studies and we stay really far from each other.

even we're in the same country, we only manage to meet each other one year twice .

which is when all of us have to be at KL for a little gathering .

and that is when the happy moment started.

 

as we grew, people get married as well. 

daddy told me when im married with kids, its even harder to be outside with friends till late night

;(

i miss them too much at times i really wanted to meet them and spill whatever craps we always do. 

i remember how we went for a short trip at genting , booking 2 rooms.

and we all ended up sleeping in the same room  and we made the other room as a luggage room.

 my wives ?

we started as stranger from different class since 13. 

but slowly dancing pull us closer and close the gap i think.

we shared the same interest that made us closer , isnt it ? :)

do we look different now ?

hahahha

when we start meeting up at each other's place, i always wonder, will their parents think how much we've grown? 

for the past 9 years, isnt a short period isnt it ? 

it isnt easy to maintain one friendship as well.

and now i manage to maintain 3 friendships :)

 we dont have to always meet up, but when we do, we cant stop talking. 

a group chat in Whatsapp is even easier for us to update our own latest news to each other.

hehehhee. 

i do meet my wives from time to time. but its not easy to have all 4 of us together at the same time since we're walking different path right now isnt it ? 

and i do miss them very quickly after our gathering. 

because we always ended up laughing till our stomach hurts.

im missing all of them above and always do wonder, when will we meet again ?

:(

does this post makes you miss anyone ?

you should tell them as well =)

Troubled.

Annyeonghaseyo!

 I like taking pic with both hands on my face cause it make my face look smaller. 

HAHAHHAHAHA. 

im sorry. i just wanna make myself laugh a little -.-

Im supposed to be sleeping right now but im troubled by my own troubles 

-__________-

not knowing who to spill to, my blog is always here to listen. spill. 

i've been thinking way too much lately.

im sorry for annoying u guys with my emotions.

T____T

this time, i've been thinking about myself :x

i've been thinking, im 22, as a repeated soooo many times.

its not young or too old. 

at this age, i still got no achievement.

this age, i keep wondering wth did i even manage to unlock in my life.

NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING. 

at times im really disappointed in myself. 

like, what the hell am i even doing with my life.

i wake up, i go to work, do what i should do, go home, sleep.

and repeating the whole cycle again and again.

i dont party late night, i dont smoke, i dont get myself drunk, i dont go for illegal stuff.

but what good things i did ? -___-

everytime when i drive home, i kept thinking what good or proud things did i do today. 

this is why i always ended up in accident lah -.-

looking at others where they are good at at least something and looking back at myself.

.......

kinda speechless with myself. 

Im not good in anything.

I got no talent. Not singing, not dancing, not cooking, not athletic.

I have short legs planted on the floor.

No, i doesnt have those goddess body like anyone else have.

I dont have a smart brain. im a very blur or i could say dumb person where everyone else always tell me i am. i never say im not. i always admit when they tell me i am. 

Im not the one who consider good looking but still trying to cheat ppl with all my selcas. wth. 

Im still an annoying kiddo that try to annoyed ppl as much as i could. 

the thoughts will just come to my brain anytime, especially when im alone.

im a crybaby. hambao !

worst part ? MY CONFIDENCE LEVEL IS AS LOW AS A GROUND THAT HAS BEEN DIG. 

-_______________-

Im always afraid how my future will be like . 

how my future partner will treat me. 

I didnt expect much about my future.

All i wanted is just to live well and being treated well. 

I DONT dare to dream big. dont even dare to think big. 

because i know the percentage of being disappointed will be very high. 

i tends to keep everything to myself as i doesnt want other ppl to look down on me even more.

confidence level will just leave my soul lah like that.

i doesnt want other ppl to know what has been bothering me from time to time.

because i guess all my question will just lead them to silence. 

not even my parents, cause i doesnt want them to worry. 

they've been thinking i can take care of myself.

i can earn and use myself, i dont take $$ from them anymore. 

and yes, i dont anymore. 

being the youngest in this family, and being the only one who earn outside, isnt easy. 

i got stressful as well because i wanna show them im dependable as well.

i can be independent as well. 

my parents always tell me '' ah girl, u can one. u must.. u will.. ''

but....

i just cant  :(

oh dear future boyfie/husband ,  if u stumble across my blog, please be patient with me araseo ? 

since im being very honest right now..

T____T

Once upon a time.

Life is always full of doubts. 

Not sure about yours, But mine definitely yes.  

Being 22 might be a year I've been thinking too much. 

Not sure is it a good thing or a bad thing. Lol. 

As January passes just in a blink of eye, many thing, good or bad, has been happening around me. 

I've seen ppl around me being attached, started a new family or even breaking up. 

Have you ever wondered There's too much things happen at the same time,  we hope that we could just write our own script?  

A script of our own Life would be great isn't it?  But there won't be any challenges anymore. Guess God make it His way for us to grow stronger in every challenge.  

There's always a time, we thought we'll been falling for the right person all these while. 

There's always a time, where we thought they will be the one. 

There's always a time, where we thought They will wall the whole journey with us. 

There's always a time that we were blinded by love, and no matter what wrongdoings another partner did, we just an eye and  swallow them.

A better way of saying it,  we tolerated. 

A worst way of saying it, it's just plain stupid. Lol.  

And There's always a time, always happened to most of us, They will only realize how much they meant to them when they start losing them.  

But things are just that way. When it happen, it happened. 

When it doesn't belong to you, it just doesn't. There's no point forcing to hang on.  On my previous relationship, I've been forcing on myself to hang on for another year. 

I can't say it was a devastating year. Lol.  

It's a painful year. There's happy at times as well. But feeling horrible is more than feeling beautiful. Thinking about it, I realize I was quite patient for hanging on that way. 

Or maybe I'm just dumb.  Haha.  I do admit this point. 

This is Why I don't feel much pain after breaking up. I felt happy instead. 

Probably I'm just too immune to feel the pain anymore. 

Seeing someone I know or maybe someone close to me  being sad over one broken relationship,  it hurts me as well. 

I don't like seeing ppl around me being sad. 

But what isn't yours,  just isn't. 

It's normal to break down as well. But always, always do remember that There's someone Waiting for you on the peak.  And that's someone right for you. It depends on you, do you wanna climb up and reach the peak to hold their hands. 

That's how I always tell myself when I start falling down. Or Maybe rolling down. Lol.  

Because the way I fall is pretty fast. Rolling down is better to describe. 

I shall stop now. Writing this makes me emo.  Hahahahha.  

I'm not emo.  I'm just feeling a little blue today. It's Monday. My kind of Monday blue -.-

Scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed, Seeing everyone bai nin-ing and travelling overseas, But me myself is sitting in my office, facing my computer and documents.  Not sure should I even regret for not taking any leave this cny. 

But not even wanna waste my leave Since I'm not going anywhere.

Maybe someday, I shall just pack and travel myself so I won't be sorry for myself. Wth. 

But looking at my bank, I felt sorry for my bank -____- 

Another 11 months to end 2014. 

Will my 2014 be more beautiful or as ugly as 2013? :( 

Okay la. 2013 not very ugly. Been travelling slot of different places. Still good. 

Signing off! Annyeonggg!  ^_^