Feelings

My mood went upside down lately. 

Things were just out of control.

Or maybe i felt out of control.

I did showed how emotionally am i for the past few weeks. 

Its either might be due to the medications im under now.

Or i've lose appetite.

For the past 3 weeks, my appetite was a total loss.

I dont even feel hungry after not having anything for one whole day.

I cant even swallow anything .

Parents were getting very very worry.

Every single day, they will start calling me and when im home, they stock up so many foods that i never touch.

I failed to finish half bowl of meal.

Dad told me im like this since i was a kid.

but that was years ago. Not now.

I started being stress over my job now as everything is expanding.

too much things to stress about eh?

Everyday, my colleagues and boss were nagging me to eat, eat and eat.

I didnt listen. Some were nagging till they got angry.

Some bought me food but i didnt touch.

But trust me, i didnt lose a single weight. 

:x

Last week, i told myself, i cant continue being this way.

Even if im down, i shouldnt influence anyone around me.

i was literally emo when im alone.

but i always make myself to laugh and create jokes in the office.

my colleagues start making me laughs and yeahhhhh i did.

i start being the playful me and i eventually felt better.

of course, when i start driving alone, too much flashbacks hits me. 

when i start being alone, i cant stop thinking abt this and that.

but i did learn a quote.

LIFE IS BLACK AND WHITE, YOU JUST GOTTA PAINT IT COLORFUL.

it actually depends on us to made our life colorful.

i start eating back. no worries.

ppl told me i should gain some weight.

im putting a full stop there first. hahha. 

for ppl who worried abt me for the past few weeks, im really sorry.

MIANHAEEEE !! (_ _)

Just to let you all know, im very very fine now. no worries.

oh! my xray report is out too.

everything is back to normal now. Just a little asthmatic and still under medications.

I tried not eating the medicine if im alright cause i dont wanna lose my appetite again. 

hehhehe. 

Things are good now. Everyday im laughing.

see.

:D

Goodbye, Little one...

The thing Im afraid most happened..

I was only 12 when daddy brought him home.

He was with another owner for 2 years before joining this family.

The owner have to move to an apartment and he decided to sell to us.

That moment he stepped in, he was wagging his tail and tongue sticking out.

We remained his name so he wont get confused.

i got soooo clingy to him till i wanted to bring him to school with me !

everytime after school, i'll saw him waiting for me at the door.

i rmb my mom sent me to my sis place to stay for few days.

and on the 2nd day i said i wanted to go home because i miss this little boy so so much.

again when i reach home, he was sitting at the door side waiting :')

 He's always by my side.

When im sad and he heard me cry, he always manage to sit by my side and put his head on me. 

as if he's telling me everything will be fine , not to cry..

When there's rain and thunder, he'll always stick with me. 

And Im in my room sleeping, he'll run and bang my door so he can come in and stick with me.
he's really a good boy.
he listens to every single thing we said.
when we called him sit, he'll sit
when we called him home, he goes inside.
when we called him come, he come.
when we called him gai gai, he'll run.
when we called him a good boy, he'll wag his tail and stick his tongue out looking satisfied. 

 He's always clingy with everyone.

He loves how ppl scratch his chin.

Always love how ppl rub his tummy.

Always love how we comb his fur and clean his ear.
i love massaging for him .
because when i stop, he'll rub his head on my hand as if he's telling me more massage. 

 basicly, we were like growing up together.

i even told him, one day he'll see me marry and accompany my kids too.

I told him even if he grow old, he's always my little boy.

every morning before going to work, without fail I'll tell him '' good bye bobi, i love you.''

 Few months before, this little one gotten so naughty.

He ran out of the house without us realizing what he's trying to do.

He scratch his butt on rough floor !

We nvr realize anything until we saw there's maggots in his wound. 

immediately, we send him to the vet.

He was being hospitalized for 3 days that time. And injection too.

3 days later, we thought he's better.

I bring up my bravery and check on his wound. 

To my surprised, his wound nvr recover at all !

We paid so much money to the vet and the vet just throw my little boy in the dirty cage without doing anything.

So, i decided to do some medications on my own.

I bought medicine and utensils, and my courage , and pull the maggots, one by one out his wound.

NO ONE MESS WITH MY LITTLE BOY !

 i wrap his wound everyday , change his medicine twice a day. 

he recover after that.

his wound, are all closed up !

 he's back to the little happy bobee.

im so happy as well.

Im glad he start making loud noises.

because it means he's healthy enough !
but as time goes by, i know he's getting old..
his fur are all out..
most of it. underneath his stomach is almost bald.

 last few weeks while cleaning his ear, i spot maggots inside again.

inside his ear. means its coming from inside. 

we asked around the vet, no one said he can be save.

he's old. and its affecting him from the inside..

living 11 years of dog age, is beyond a dog age.

they told us to put him to sleep. non of us want to do that.

maybe there's miracle like previously? i decided to do the same to him again.

He was crying in pain for nights.

its been few nights since i stay up till 2-3am just to talk to him and accompany him..

i told him abt every single thing we've been through for the past 9 years.

he looks like he do understand, we gain up all his energy and walk nearer to me and lean his head on my leg.

it hutrs me seeing him crying in pain, but i doesnt want to let him go..

last night after work, i searched for him everywhere. 

no signs of him....

i thought maybe he's healthy again, i walked further and i keep looking for him.

i started to get worried.

no signs of him. i decided to call my parents.

they told me he's gone...

they brought him to buried ...

to be honest, i cant accept the fact that he's gone.

I cried from last night till tonight..

i cried to sleep...
all of us cried.. we know he dont have to suffer anymore..
but, all of us miss him.

i'll never get to pet him anymore.

i'll nvr hear him calling anymore.

i'll never get to scratch his chin anymore..

i'll nvr get to buy his fav snacks anymore..

i'll nvr get to carry him around anymore..

lastly,i'll nvr get to tell him, GOODBYE BOBI, I LOVE YOU...

you'll always be the little boy in my heart..

i'll always love you..

MAIZ

If you're still wonder who is MAIZ, you might just now me. 

MAIZ is US.

we are MAIZ. 

HAHHAHA.

why MAIZ ? the initial from our english names.

we add them up and we get this name. i rmb how xian come up with this name because we were out of name to call ourselves .

teacher want us to name ourselves because we are having some dance performance.

and this is how we are form. :)

and of course, dance brought us closer.

i still remember how we used to fight , laugh, tears, joy, sweat , etc etc. 

i have to believe when you all have the same interest, it will eventually bring you closer :)

 

this is US :) 

   

firstly knowing xian first. 

she introduce herself as angeline when we start Q-ing up at school.

her first word to me is '' hi. is this where green house is Q-ing?''

that moment, i didnt know we will be growing up together !

we got so closed, i felt really awkward at first. I WAS JUST SHY. 

but knowing how comfortable is it to talk to her, i felt pretty close to her after that.

we started to talk about every single thing !

friends, studies , family and what we brought to school as breakfast !

HAHAHA. that was really epic. we were only 13 !!

8 years. 8 freaking years ! imagine we will be telling each other

'' wow. 18 years ad. 28 years ad. 38 years already''

we were always sitting next to each other when we manage to have a chance to be in the same class starting from form 4.

we start making breakfast for each other.

whoever who is sick, we'll be taking care and worry about the other one. 

we'll be staying at each other's house and make supper.

OH MY ! we were like lesbo partners !

we were even sitting next to each other at work. hahaha. 

she left now due to studies and im stuck sitting with an uncle 

:x

Im always, always glad to have her cause she's always there to listen.

not only that, her family are like my family. they were always there when im having problem and not dare to tell my parents :x

pondy is the last one i knew.

her first words towards me is '' hi im chutipond, u can call me ah pond''

im like wow ! this girl is so cold. 

HAHAHHAHAH.

we were 14 that time. 

the most unexpected one that i'll be growing up is her.

because we fight the most during high school.

we were childish. we fight over small matter but she nvr fail to apologize and hug me after that.

HAHHAHAHAH. i felt so much win yet guilty that moment xD

we were both LEO. sometimes we were thinking, does the same horoscope bring us closer or made us argue even more cause we're both lion ? . kekeke. 

BUT ! she's one lovely wife who nvr fail to try and cheer me up.

when im down, she's there to talk to me and give me advice.

her advice might be sharp at times but thats how it all work isnt it ? :)

no matter how tired is she, she'll be there to cheer me. 

we may fight the most, but trust me , our love are undeniable.

HAHAHHAHAHAH. 

 

last but not least, the youngest wifey !

i was sitting infront of her when we were 14. 

and she said '' hi. im phoon ghee leng, and everytime u turn to the back, i will say hi to you.''

she wasnt joking. every single time i turn behind to grab my books from my bag, she said HI. 

till school over :x

i never even expect i'll be close to her when i was 13.

oh well, trust me. if u see her fashion during 13, you'll feel the same as me .

HAHAHHA. 

but, her fashion taste including hair did improve way alot. 

the way she dress. hmm.

i used to go to her house and ask her where she bought this clothes and that clothes cause its so pretty.

see how much she improved ? xD

how will she cheer me up ?

by acting like a clown.

she might be the craziest and the most 38 one but she can really advice ppl in a sarcastic way at times. 

as she's few months younger than i am, we always advice each other to the right path. 

she's the most random one around us. 

how can we not love someone like her then ?

To be honest, 

I felt so lucky to have them.

I cant even imagine my life without them. 

My life would be more complicated without them.

Might be I'll be dying due to cancer for hiding too my problems in my heart and no one to spill to.

:/

see, my life is that miserable without them. 

Isnt they are the most beautiful human being on earth ? :D

im feeling a little emotional while blogging this now.

Might be because i start missing everyone of them :/

Last but not least,my life wouldnt be that colorful without them. 

I know its a little cheesy here

But, thanks for coming into my life. 

Thanks for allowing me to go into your life. 

Amazing people like you guys wouldn't run out from my life now.

Imma tie you guys with me.

NGEHEHHEHEHEHE ~

come, let me  present you, J.A.M.I.Z.E.A !!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA !

Joo Recovery Trip.

 Hhhahaha. I know my title is a little something.

JOO RECOVERY TRIP.

okok. i should stop laughing. there's actually a little ahem ahem reason behind why we name this joo recovery trip.

anyway, on Sunday we decided to have a one day trip to malacca. 

the plan is to meet up at jinjang at 7am. 

that means i have to wake up at 5.30am. most of us i mean. 

I was so confident that i can surely sleep early and wake up early because i had my medicine already.

I END UP SLEEPING AT 4AM. FMLLLLL ....

im not the only one. JASON TOO. HAHAHHAHAHAH. 

so i was quite happy after knowing it.

at least im not the only one who felt like a zombie.

for the first time ever , after my medications, i cant sleep. -_______-'''

so we leave kepong around 8.30am. after wasting 1 and half hour at mamak and a chinese restaurant thinking what to eat for breakfast :/

2 cars down. 8 of us. 

the car im sitting ? 

xian, alvin, eng and me :)

another car is pond, ning, jason and joo. 

 after 1 and half hour of jouney, we arrived malacca !

our first stop is The Baboon House near Jonker Street .

Speaking about this restaurant, i still feeling a lil beh song-ness in my heart :x

I'll talk about it later. 

Finally, its the first MAIZ road trip after 7 years. 

wifeys reunited :')

 everyone is happy and excited.

seeeeee xD

 we somehow ordered some light snacks cause we will be eating all the way. 

potato wedges , salad and onion ring. 

the food was good. the salad is good. 

 and coffee ! i dont drink coffee, but my wives and my oppas do.

they said the coffee was awesome !.

look at them coffee lovers focusing on their coffee.

 #no alvin. the shop look quite nice. 

it actually an abandoned house that the owner took it up and make it into a restaurant. 

they sell scribble clothes and some art utensils too. 

their environment are like... errr. jungle feeling ? 

trees , leaves, pond and well in their courtyard and around their restaurant.

it has 2nd floor too ! but its a no entry. 

and when i looked up, it looks dark and old :x

 we secretly snap some photos  at the restaurant entrace.

why ?

 because of this lohhhhh !

inside the restaurant, errr. i mean at the entrance of the restaurant, it said no photography and no videography. 

isnt its weird to have a sign like that in a restaurant ?

doenst she want ppl to come after looking at reviews and photos by others ?

we got scold quite loud and rudely by the restaurant owner .

 feeling not really happy to be treated like that because we are the customer, we decided to leave.

and never come back the next time we visit malacca.

it was raining after we had our meal.

so we decided to wait outside for the guys to pick us up at the front door. 

while waiting, we took pictures OUTSIDE the restaurant. 

and damnit, we got scolded once again.

she speed up her walking speed towards us and raised her voice on us.

saying '' cant u see the sign said no photography  ? why are u taking photos ? can u read ? no taking photos. do you even understand .?''

i was thinking enough is enough. i dont deserve to be treated that way as your customer who pays you for your food. 

so i asked her '' your sign is inside. i thought u meant no photography inside.''

she shouted at me again '' NO. NO TAKING PHOTOS INSIDE AND OUTSIDE.''

wtffffff. i got so angry i feel like asking her is this even the right way to treat your customer which is a tourist that is trying to capture some photos for some memories.

not only us, even foreigners that came in, she scolded them as well. 

-_________-'''

no more going back to this Baboon House. Im giving a big NONO .

i dont pay to get scolded . pfft.  

 We walked around Jonker Street after that.

searching for something to eat.

BEST THING ?

DURIAN CREAM PUFFS FROM TASTE BETTER.

it was so so so awesome . people who loves durian should try it.

trust me.

you will only be regret if u dont try it. 

own group photos selfie. HAHHAHA.

 it was still raining. not much photos were taken :/

 everyone was busy eating, and holding umbrella so we wont get wet. 

we get wet in the end. LOL.

 the next destination was the chicken rice shop.

no idea whats the name cause its in chinese :x

the chicken rice balls are handmade instead of machine made.

this isnt bad. 

nowadays, its not easy to find a good chicken rice ball shop. 

 when MAIZ recomended, you know its good :D

 after makan, another 15-20 minutes drive to KLEBANG. 

when u heard KLEBANG, you know what is it ?

COCONUT SHAKE !!

best best besttttt !!

 there's 8 of us, but we ordered 13 cups.

ended up we had some drinking coconut shake competition. HAHHAA. 

there's 2 types.

coconut shake special ( with ice cream) 

and coconut shake. normal. 

the moment u drink it, cool ice shave were down our throat and of course, you can bite the coconut bits  that has been blended !

 see ?

we freaking love it. hahahhaha.

 while waiting for satay cleup to open, we decided to walk around even more.

BUT THE WEATHER IS KILLING US.

 we went around and took more more more pictures !

 oppa , maknae for 9 years. 

9 years !! hahhahah.

 after taking this picture, she told me she wanted us to take pic with the red house instead.

stupid me cover the red house with my umbrella because it was too HOT ! :x

 see how sunny is it !

after taking this pic, i put the umbrella up straight !

 Despite the weather, we decided to chill ourselves in Hard Rock cafee.

 Im not allow to order alcohol, so i order some wildberry smoothies and share it with my darling :)

mix of some berries and pina colada.

 The last stop was satay celup.

we decided to try Ban Lee Siang.

it was pretty good.

but i heard satay celup isnt hygiene :x

 it takes us almost 3 hours to reach KL.

like double the time when we go there -.-

being outside for one whole day , i finally realize malaysia weather is a no joke now. 

readers, please drink more water and eat more fruits is possible.

there's so many ppl out there who fall sick.

example ? ME . I've done my xray today and waiting for the report to be out tmr.

WISH ME LUCK PEOPLE !!